It’s not that I intended to party like I was 19. And to be fair, while I may have mentioned it a couple of times – the reality is more of the contrary. Drunkenness yes, but early to bed and to rise with runs, gym and coffee not to mention healthy eating doesn’t really put me in the 19 bracket.
Instead, the wobble more comes in a similar vein to how it did before the big 3-oh. And we all know that actually worked out ok – so really, nothing to worry about for 2014.
Life isn’t what you think it is. And more often than not, you discover this the hard way. You make choices, that you think are a good idea at the time (be honest – you do, otherwise you’d never have made them) and then you deal with the consequences the best way you know how. Chances are though that making the decisions, well the big ones anyway, involve drawing in a couple of resources – you know; the friend who changed jobs recently or who has made good career choices, the one who’s parents are divorced, or the one that’s been in a relationship forever. The one who has bought a house, shares, a new car, or moved countries. There are the good listeners, and the good advice givers. There are also the ones who dominate you with their shit, that you forget why you met up for coffee in the first place (which is fine too).
However, there are some choices, thoughts, decisions, facts that you can’t really draw anyone in for. They’re the ones that are not really up for round table discussion. Mostly because you know that there’s no one who can listen, who knows, you even comes close to understanding or who could help you work out that weirdness that comes with how you feel when life isn’t really going how you figured it might.
The job, car, investments, houses and relationship stuff – that’s easy.
The freaking out that another year has passed. The questions around are you supposed to be where you are? Is there a point? What is that point? Is there more to this? For that you’re completely alone. And that sort of makes you wobble.
Always a disclaimer:
At the risk of devaluing this post (which will most likely be read by about 5 people tops) with a motivational poster, I decided to add one anyway. This post is far too serious and not at all lighthearted which is completely unlike the writer herself (in the 3rd person, because that isn’t weird) and I needed to lift the January 1st mood a little.