What drives me? What moves me?
I’m asking myself as I sit on my couch, that I ordered in grey, but wanted in white, but believed white would be impractical for the day, the one day, when we eventually have children. The couch in my library, that has only one bookshelf of books, and that is actually just the fourth bedroom to our house, but we didn’t have enough beds to make it bedroom and so we bought a couch for it instead. I consider this room, that actually is more like a storage room… still, two years since moving in, and consider this home that I get to call my own. (Well, my own plus shared with my husband). The nice part about both earning a salary is that we really do both own it and not just in the “I do, mine is yours, yours is mine” kind of way.
I’ve taken a half day today. Not to consider my couch, my library, or even my home – mostly to manage the builders at my house improving on a patio, creating an outdoor shower, walking backwards and forwards (5 of them, back and forth… what are they doing?), but now that I’m here and I’m dedicated to taking my half day and not working it – I find myself considering.
In a world where we’re so damn busy, all the damn time – and not the good kind of busy, the exhausting when will my life pause type, I find that I need to really stop. Somewhere this year (the reflective post of which is a draft.. but coming your way), I have stopped thinking about the drive. Stopped considering the passion, the motive, the why. Its a good thing. Live today. Then… tomorrow, live it again.
But too – its a bit groundhog day-ish. Healthy to not be always dreaming of tomorrow, unhealthy to have forgotten to think of why and what’s moving me towards it.
Turns out 2015 – you may have just found your role.