Sometimes, all we’re waiting for is the grand gesture. Maybe it won’t do any good. Maybe we don’t need it. Maybe we don’t deserve it. But… we want it.
The promotion announcement. The email from the big boss to ‘all’ congratulating you on a job well done. The moment in your wedding speech that your dad says ‘isn’t she stunning’ (he did, and it was special). The grand moment of being run after in the rain, to be told that without a doubt you are the only person in the world that they love. Red roses, orchestra music, a fire escape and a declaration of love (sounds familiar, because it is).
As how I feel with surprises (that as an adult we never get them anymore. No presents from Santa, no tooth fairy visits. All calculated grown up stuff), we also don’t get many grand gestures after the big ‘will you marry me?’ moment. After that, it’s like the grand gestures of love and unexpected declarations thereof, come to a quiet and mature (necessary?) end.
I surprise myself with how romantic the grand gesture needs to be apparently. I was always pretty sure I wasn’t that romantic girl. Actually, that’s a lie. Maybe I’m the romantic person that’s a bit of a realist and knows that shit really only happens in movies. (Clearly. As both grand gestures referenced that are remotely romantic can be linked back to movies)
The grand gesture isn’t all about someone else though. It’s also about you.
I desperately and secretly (although not such a secret now I guess) want to make a grand gesture myself. One where I dramatically say “I quit!” You know, turn over your desk, papers in the air type of ‘I quit’. Not that I want to quit my job. I don’t. I like it (really). And that’s not an ‘I like it because my boss reads this’ kind of I like it. (Although how would I know If she did read it? Is she my token Maldivian visitor I keep getting? err, no Kim. Because she’s based in Rondebosch and not on an indian ocean island).
Anyway… The mind, she wanders.
Where was I? Quitting. Ah yes… and the dramatic grand gesture you can make yourself.
Besides quitting. I’d love to do a grand gesture of spontaneously booking that flight one day. The flight I look at least once a week. Destination? Oh well that changes! But I think you’re missing the point. It’s the dramatic ‘fuck it, I’m outta here’ gesture and spontaneously booking the flight that proves the point.
In fact. Maybe it’s less about the gesture. And more about the spontaneous and instantaneous direct reaction to an emotion.
While the Pretty Woman scene above may need to be a little more planned (and as such potentially isn’t the grand gesture that I’m after. That, and I’m also not keen on turning to prostitution, even of the glamorous type that Julia Roberts played so well) – the rest are all about the moment. And behaving exactly as your heart truly feels, in that moment.
Somehow, I went from wanting demonstrative displays of adoration in a grand and dramatic ways to spontaneous outbursts in behaviour that may or may not include throwing my desk upside down.
But I guess it’s all the same anyway.
Act. Do it with meaning. Do it with drama. Do it from your heart. Do it, even if it’s a mistake or you’ll be judged for it.
Ok, maybe don’t do it if the judging is by a court and it’s illegal. That won’t be that cool.
**Note. The grand gesture could also be a song written (or played live) in my honour. You know, just saying
**Second note – Actually, I had that once. The song I mean. I didn’t realise it was a grand gesture. Maybe the point is to pay more attention.