Why detox?

The question has already come up, and no doubt in the week ahead, while I painfully try and drink my juices, teas and don’t forget the yum hot water and lemon (but not) I will be asked it again, ‘Why the detox’?

I don’t eat badly. I eat two boiled eggs for breakfast, a flat white (to go – a ritual more than an addiction), a handful of almonds at 11am, lunch of a salad (with ok… maybe some fried chicken – sue me!), some more almonds in the afternoon, a rooibos tea and dinner. Dinner which is usually mostly carb free – steak and veggies, chicken and salad. Or a combination of those. Once a week there’s salmon. All from Woolies because, well… I give woolies about 75% of my salary. The rest is bond, petrol, and all those damn insurances.

I eat well (relatively). I exercise (most mornings). So what’s with the detox?

Well, lets back up and be a little more honest. I may have forgotten to mention the packet of speckled eggs I often am known to inhale between making my woolies payment, my car and arriving home (hmm.. speckled eggs) or the half slab of chocolate I have after dinner. Or the milo (that sometimes… ok, most times I just eat out of the tin. 3 spoons in the milk, one spoon in my mouth). Or the wine. The wine on a Monday, a Tuesday. You know, days of the week should not dictate which wine you open, or how much you drink of it.

Some time before the onslaught of the Drake Hawkins Family time (some are winemakers, but that’s not necessarily the reason why we drink, but a whole post will be dedicated to them at some point), at the start of winter and roughly about when the ‘proverbial’ rug was pulled from under me… I decided to stop giving a fuck. It was cold and I  no longer cared for the gym or a treadmill. I ate entire chocolates (not half now, and half later). I had second helpings, I drank on Mondays, Tuesdays even. Hell, even Sundays. We partied till 4am, and slept in because we could. We indulged. And we didn’t care about the consequences.

It wasn’t nearly as liberating as one may think it should be.

The weight gain, that’s one thing. (And to be really honest, the scale actually hasn’t budged more than 1,7kgs. Which isn’t a lot to some, while is loads to me). The exhaustion, the sadness (my own term for where others throw around ‘depressed’ so easily – it is not a subject to be taken lightly), shitty pale complexion and general grumpiness coupled with sleepless nights (or perhaps its even insomnia?) – that’s another thing. Plus, booking our summer holiday to a destination worthy of honeymoons, special occasions, or bucket list tick marks, means that its time to kick start the healthy living programme in this household.

A Kick Start. This detox, is that. Mostly.

It’s also really very difficult. I like food. I like it alot and I especially like it on weekends. I also especially like it now that I’ve been eating so much of it lately. So its challenging. This whole, not eating thing. And its only day 1.

But, like every Sober October where I abstain from the necessary (generally just to recoup before the silly season kicks off, but also to prove I can), and every 40 (6) days of lent when I give up chocolate or coffee (ok, only once I gave up coffee and it was stupid), this too will strengthen my mind, and I’ll be able to last. Its only 5 days.

A strong mind. To tackle the second part of this year which is going to involve a whole heap of almond and coconut flour, lindt 90% chocolate only, oily black coffee, and the inside of that gym that debits my bank account every month.


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